Life Before MansMatters
I thought premature ejaculation was something I would have to live with for the rest of my life. It started when I was a teenager and by the time I got to university, it had affected everything about me. I had zero confidence in having a relationship with the opposite sex.
The first time I tried to have sex was a disaster. It was over before it started. Literally a few seconds. She didn’t say anything, but looked at me like, ‘is that it?’’ and avoided me the following day. I’d never felt anything like that level of humiliation before. It knocked me sideways.
After that, I avoided getting involved with anyone else at all and pretended to focus on my degree and drank too much. Most students talked freely about sex and weren’t afraid to condemn past partners if they had fallen out. I had to hide my secret. I wasn’t prepared to become the joke of university gossip. It wasn’t a risk I was prepared to take.
I did a lot of searching on google and I tried cheap options like wipes and sprays. They are supposed to desensitise you so you can last longer. They help a bit, but as I found out on a much later sexual disaster, than can desensitise your partner as well. Not something that went down terribly well at all.
When I was home from university, I visited my GP/ He mentioned that it could be in my mind, but that didn’t explain why it had started before I was stressed out about it. He prescribed me Priligy but it didn’t help much at all. It had some side effects: I started getting nosebleeds and felt a bit wheezy. When I researched It further, I found it was a drug for people with depression. I also asked my GP whether there were any specialists I could see, and he said that there were Urologists, but the waiting times on the NHS was long. So, I did my own research for ‘Urologists and Premature Ejaculation and visited a couple of private Urologists in Central London and Harley Street.
It became clear that there wasn’t any great solution out there. In addition to the treatment, that I had already tried, the two options were surgery, The most mentioned one was ‘selective dorsal neurotomy and cryoablation’. This meant either cutting or freezing the nerves around my private parts. Each Urologist explained the risks: One of the biggest risks was erectile dysfunction. It sounded like Russian roulette and was expensive, so I didn’t take them up on the offer.
By my final year at university, I’d given up hope of a relationship completely.
Finding MansMatters
I came across MansMatters completely by chance. I was in London, walking through Knightsbridge, and passed a clinic window with “Premature Ejaculation Treatment” flashing on a digital screen. The clinic looked professional, so I decided to take it further. The company signage was for Shockwave Clinics Ltd, but their specialist men’s health service went under the brand name MansMatters. I went to the website and filled out an online form and got a call back within an hour. I was offered a free in-clinic consultation.
The First Appointment
I met Mr Almashan and another doctor. What stood out was how down to earth they were. They explained that premature ejaculation isn’t one single condition. There are different types, from lifelong to acquired. That was the first time anyone had broken it down like that.
They explained that with medical breakthroughs, more and more conditions were being treated without surgery, and they specialised in non-invasive treatments. They didn’t undertake any surgery at all.
They also said that if a treatment isn’t approved on the NHS, your GP often won’t know anything about it, and most Urologists have been surgically trained. I always believed what my GP said was gospel. I now realise that there are medical treatments out there that most men will never hear about, just because they are not on the NHS or considered a conventional route.
I had a detailed consultation and a physical inspection. They identified three main factors behind my problem: pelvic floor weakness, nerve hypersensitivity, and stress.
The Treatment Plan
They recommended a treatment plan for 10 visits to the clinic. This was a combination of advanced technology and personal exercises. They explained that it wasn’t a miracle cure and that they and I would have to retrain my body’s response and develop control.
The technologies included Functional Magnetic Stimulation (FMS), which uses electromagnetic fields to strengthen and retrain the ejaculatory muscles and the pelvic floor. This involved my lying on a couch and a probe the size of a plate being brought on top of my penis, through clothes and conducting thousands of exercises in 20 minutes.
They also had a Tesla Chair, which targeted my backside and controlled my ejaculatory muscles. It was incredibly powerful and although not painful, was adjusted to a tolerance I could comfortably take. It delivered thousands of muscle contractions within the session.
Alongside this, it was stressed that in between sessions I would need to perform Kegel Exercises and a stop-start technique. I was essentially training my private parts to just before climax and then hold back.
The Results
The first few weeks I was full of hope, but there wasn’t much of a change. But I was committed to the process. Around the fourth or fifth session, I started to see improvements and then I started making major changes.
I went from lasting only a few seconds to a couple of minutes. It was varied and I had to keep up with all my exercises. However, by the final session, I got up to being able to keep control for 10 minutes and I could focus on the enjoyment rather than panicking that I was about to ejaculate. For most men that might not sound a lot but for me it was a miracle.
It wasn’t just the physical side for me, it was also the mental side. I now had proof that it wasn’t in my mind and that the only option wasn’t surgery. I had been treated with a lot of commitment from my side and I had now got over my worst fears and for the first time was feeling confident in all aspects of my life.
Life Now
I’m not in a long-term relationship yet, but I look forward to the future and no longer have any fears about it. But I’m no longer terrified of the idea. I feel very calm, like a huge weight has lifted from my back. I didn’t realise how much it was affecting me. I get compliments sometimes about how positive I am. I never had this before.
I know there are thousands of men like me in exactly the same situation, but men don’t talk about this to one another, and it is such a pity that treatments that are not NHS approved don’t get the publicity they should.
If I had one bit of advice for any man suffering a personal problem, don’t just accept what the GP says, don’t just accept what is conventional treatment. If what is being said to you doesn’t work or involves surgery, keep searching. I did and it changed my life.
Reviewed by Mr Alamshan – Lead Medical Consultant.
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